It is not a question of right or wrong, first or last The Love a person have for his partner is different than for children same as for your parents. My partner will be my partner that i love with all my heart as lover,wife ,mother of my kids and have a spesial place for me the children dont matter if its mine ,hers or ours they dint asked to be there they are the product of two persons in love and i feel and belief that its our responsibility as adults and parents to protect them to keep them save and the day you decide to have children you must be aware that from that day all your decisions will have to be in consideration of them too they are NOT a burden or fun spoilers they are our responsibility that we need to take care of them as best as we always can The children are the combine responsibility of both partners both partners working as a team to make a succsess of the children so that the children will have the best change in life for succsess and that can only be achieved if both partnes stand together in love and be as one voice. Hope you understand better now Galina ?